Joe Tsai is Balling and I Want Some

Joe Tsai owns the Brooklyn Nets, has his hands dipped elsewhere in sports, namely lacrosse, and is the co-founder and executive vice chairman of Alibaba Group.

He also balls.

Tsai has been posting videos of himself hooping to Twitter and YouTube, attacking the basket, pulling up from the mid-range and showcasing other aspects of his skill set for the world to see. As of right now, there are no known plans for Tsai to suit up for his Nets during the 2019-20 season, but it’s something to keep an eye on.

With some sly tactics and perhaps an opponent who didn’t take his competition seriously enough, Tsai toppled Yale’s Eze Dike in some one-on-one action back in November, begging the question: is Tsai the future of Canadian basketball?

The answer? Almost certainly no. He is in his 50s, and his game will not improve with age. Also, there are a lot of very good young Canadians right now. Tsai would have some trouble competing against Brandon Clarke or RJ Barrett.

But that won’t stop Tsai, who was inspired so much after watching Spain and Argentina battle it out in the FIBA World Cup Final last month in China that he joined a pick-up game at the Chinese Men’s National Team gym and scored at least two points.

And don’t worry, we wouldn’t skip over this assist from the court commander.

There’s no doubt Tsai is a capable player, especially considering his age. I play with 50 year olds regularly, and he would put many of them to shame. But I have a personal challenge for him: play me in a game of one-on-one, first to 11, ones and twos, win by two, 15 straight.

It would be no fun without some serious stakes, though. Here is the wager, Tsai: winner gets a majority share in the other’s business. If I win, I get 51 percent of whatever measly amount Alibaba is worth, and if Tsai wins, he will be financially saved with a 51 percent stake in Nothing But Nylon.

This should prove how much confidence I have in my game and how willing I am to risk it all for a shot at the king. I respect your game, Joe Tsai, but if you see me on the court, it’s curtains.

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