![Nothing But Nylon](data:image/svg+xml;utf8,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="300" height="254"><rect width="100%" height="100%"><animate attributeName="fill" values="rgba(153,153,153,0.5);rgba(153,153,153,0.1);rgba(153,153,153,0.5)" dur="2s" repeatCount="indefinite" /></rect></svg>)
![22 basketball predictions for 2022](data:image/svg+xml;utf8,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="110" height="110"><rect width="100%" height="100%"><animate attributeName="fill" values="rgba(153,153,153,0.5);rgba(153,153,153,0.1);rgba(153,153,153,0.5)" dur="2s" repeatCount="indefinite" /></rect></svg>)
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Satire
109 posts
![Conference realignment](data:image/svg+xml;utf8,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="380" height="280"><rect width="100%" height="100%"><animate attributeName="fill" values="rgba(153,153,153,0.5);rgba(153,153,153,0.1);rgba(153,153,153,0.5)" dur="2s" repeatCount="indefinite" /></rect></svg>)
Conference Realignment Returns the Joy to College Sports
Conference realignment, hooray! It’s when all of your favorite aspects of college sports come to the forefront to…
Jim Boeheim Takes to Doomsday Bunker to Escape Hippies
Syracuse men’s basketball head coach Jim Boeheim has been hiding out in his doomsday bunker ever since the…
![Joel Embiid Russell Westbrook Steven Adams](data:image/svg+xml;utf8,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="210" height="280"><rect width="100%" height="100%"><animate attributeName="fill" values="rgba(153,153,153,0.5);rgba(153,153,153,0.1);rgba(153,153,153,0.5)" dur="2s" repeatCount="indefinite" /></rect></svg>)
Court Rules Joel Embiid, Russell Westbrook To Lose Custody of Steven Adams
A Philadelphia court ruled for Joel Embiid and Russell Westbrook to have no custody of Steven Adams after…
Utah Jazz Change Name to Utah Classic County
The Utah Jazz will change their name to the Utah Classic Country effectively immediately, the team announced. The…
![NBA owners Minnesota Timberwolves](data:image/svg+xml;utf8,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="290" height="280"><rect width="100%" height="100%"><animate attributeName="fill" values="rgba(153,153,153,0.5);rgba(153,153,153,0.1);rgba(153,153,153,0.5)" dur="2s" repeatCount="indefinite" /></rect></svg>)
NBA Owners Form 29-Team Super League
A group of NBA owners announced the launch of a 29-team super league on Thursday, prompting strong backlash…
![Raymond Tortuga brings you his super important men's college basketball awards for the 2020-21 season, including best dressed and most prolific murderer.](data:image/svg+xml;utf8,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="302" height="280"><rect width="100%" height="100%"><animate attributeName="fill" values="rgba(153,153,153,0.5);rgba(153,153,153,0.1);rgba(153,153,153,0.5)" dur="2s" repeatCount="indefinite" /></rect></svg>)
Raymond Tortuga’s Men’s College Basketball Awards 2020-21
Since the tournament ended with Baylor’s demolition of Gonzaga, the world has been waiting on bated breath for…
![An overweight man explained why he feels strongly about the NCAA providing it's women's basketball tournament with worse amenities than the men's event.](data:image/svg+xml;utf8,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="250" height="280"><rect width="100%" height="100%"><animate attributeName="fill" values="rgba(153,153,153,0.5);rgba(153,153,153,0.1);rgba(153,153,153,0.5)" dur="2s" repeatCount="indefinite" /></rect></svg>)
Overweight Man Explains Why Women’s Basketball Players Don’t Need Big Lifty Things
John Smith, a bland replica of the same American over and over, was disgusted when he saw the…
![A full-grown, adult man who is paid USD to talk about the unpaid work of others that generates billions complained about the unpaid workers' unhappiness.](data:image/svg+xml;utf8,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="308" height="280"><rect width="100%" height="100%"><animate attributeName="fill" values="rgba(153,153,153,0.5);rgba(153,153,153,0.1);rgba(153,153,153,0.5)" dur="2s" repeatCount="indefinite" /></rect></svg>)
Full-Grown Adult Man Who Is Paid to Talk about Unpaid Work Complains about Unpaid Workers’ Unhappiness
As hundreds of unpaid workers are traveling to Indiana in the middle of a pandemic to do work…
New York Liberty Named Most Adorable WNBA Franchise
The New York Liberty finally won something! This week, the WNBA announced one of its oldest franchises as…
![Tim Miles had his glasses amputated after a freak fall while jogging in dress clothing, sparking some deep introspection Raymong Tortuga witnessed himself.](data:image/svg+xml;utf8,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="280" height="280"><rect width="100%" height="100%"><animate attributeName="fill" values="rgba(153,153,153,0.5);rgba(153,153,153,0.1);rgba(153,153,153,0.5)" dur="2s" repeatCount="indefinite" /></rect></svg>)
Tim Miles Glasses Amputated After Freak Fall
Basketball analyst Tim Miles had his glasses amputated from his face Wednesday following a freak fall that broke…