The whole international pandemic thing that’s going down forced the 2020 March Madness to be cancelled. Or so you thought.
The NCAA is skipping this year’s tournament at all levels, but /r/CollegeBasketball has sponsored its own alternative Men’s Division I tournament: Reddit March Madness. Streamed exclusively on YouTube and executed with a college basketball video game from almost 15 years ago, this year’s March Madness is sure to be unpredictable and full of really dumb turnovers.
Nothing But Nylon is providing the exclusive* coverage of the event from the bedroom of our headquarters. Don’t miss any of the real* quotes and bone-breaking analysis that you’ll only find here because of how exclusive* this content is.
* = this means you can’t sue me
Scott Drew Charges Dropped, Allowed Back into Reddit March Madness
Baylor head coach Scott Drew was arrested on murder charges last week following his team’s 85-68 demolishing of Boston University in the first round of Reddit March Madness.
Those charges were dropped today as Boston University declared it didn’t care enough about basketball to follow through with everything.
“It would have been too much of a hassle,” the university said in a statement. “Lawyers, paperwork, all that. We didn’t really feel like it.”
Scott Drew was released from Wake County Jail in Raleigh, North Carolina, this morning and immediately spoke to reporters.
“This is justice,” he said, defiantly. “While I am the man who slaughtered multiple innocents last week, I did so at the behest of someone with a lot of power, more power than me. I won’t say who, but I will say that they have tons of money.
“That’s just a hint, though,” he continued, becoming a bit more fidgety. “It’s not an insinuation that I was paid for this. Not at all.
“This isn’t my fault, just so we’re clear,” he said, putting his hands out in front of him to stop the bleeding. “That’s really what the lesson here should be. Um, bye.”
There has been speculation that Scott Drew was put up to do the deed, especially considering his comments following the Boston University game. But without any proof, nothing can be done.
Scoop Callahan, a man with a Facebook account, hasn’t let that stop him, though. He has been privately investigating this situation since the murders occurred last week.
“The NCAA and Satan are behind this,” he told me over a covert interview set up using a series of cups and strings. “And you think some administrators at Boston University aren’t getting kickbacks for dropping the charges? Please. I promise you, this won’t be the end of this.”
Regardless, Scott Drew will be on the sideline this Sunday at 8 p.m. EST when No. 1 seed Baylor challenges No. 9 seed Indiana in the second round of Reddit March Madness. The coach said he is excited to get back with his team.
“Man, you have no idea how difficult it is to be locked up in there and apart from these guys,” he said. “There’s no one else in the world I’d rather meticulously plot several murders with.”
Indiana head coach Archie Miller said he didn’t care about any of this.
“You really think I’m wasting my time with this shit? No, I’m not. I have a team to prepare,” he said, storming out of the press conference while still having more to say. “Get out of my face.”
Be sure to follow along with Nothing But Nylon’s comprehensively exclusive* coverage of the 2020 Reddit March Madness.
Part of the proceeds from the sale of each #RedditMarchMadness t-shirt will go toward helping those in the basketball community affected by COVID-19. We will be partnering with non-profits like the Give and Go Foundation on the effort. If you know of a worthy group that could use some extra funds, please reach out.