Marquette Handles Arizona Behind 37 via Markus Howard

The whole international pandemic thing that’s going down forced the 2020 March Madness to be cancelled. Or so you thought.

The NCAA is skipping this year’s tournament at all levels, but /r/CollegeBasketball has sponsored its own alternative Men’s Division I tournament: Reddit March Madness. Streamed exclusively on YouTube and executed with a college basketball video game from almost 15 years ago, this year’s March Madness is sure to be unpredictable and full of really dumb turnovers.

Nothing But Nylon is providing the exclusive* coverage of the event from the bedroom of our headquarters. Don’t miss any of the real* quotes and bone-breaking analysis that you’ll only find here because of how exclusive* this content is.

* = this means you can’t sue me

Reddit March Madness First Round – 10 Marquette 86, 7 Arizona 70

When Marquette and Arizona were matched up in the first found of the 2020 Reddit March Madness, fans across the country were disappointed that one would have to advance to the second round.

“This sucks,” said Dartarian Magoo, an avid college hoops fan.

The Golden Eagles have Markus Howard at least, and he made their team nearly enjoyable to watch this season. He had himself an outstanding game in Marquette’s 86-70 win over the Wildcats on Friday, posting a statline of 37 points on 11-of-17 shooting, a 6-of-7 mark from deep, and four assists to boot.

“I should be on multiple scholarships,” Howard said after the game, “and be earning the coach’s salary.”

I asked Marquette head coach Mike Wazowski about Howard’s comments.

“Yep,” he said. “Next.”

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Three of Markus Howard’s 37 points, a game high and enough to save Wazowski’s ass. GIF courtesy of /u/typicalbaseballfan.

The loss brings an end to a tumultuous campaign for Arizona, which has seen scandal and uncertainty surround the program for the last year. Head coach Sean Miller addressed questions about his future with the program after his team’s third first-round exit in five years.

“I have been working part-time as an extra-absorbent paper towel in the event I lose this job,” Miller explained. “Business is booming, and soon I can take this operation full time. I won’t even need Arizona for much longer. Pump and dump, baby, pump and dump.”

Marquette will face No. 15 seed Eastern Washington in the second round of the 2020 Reddit March Madness. Be sure to follow along with Nothing But Nylon’s comprehensively exclusive* coverage of the 2020 Reddit March Madness.

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