James Naismith Has Basketball Inventor Title Vacated

James Naismith will have his inventor of basketball title vacated following a pay-for-play scheme uncovered during his time as head coach at Kansas, the NCAA announced Thursday.

Two weeks ago, documents were uncovered proving Naismith had provided players with cars, cash and other benefits in exchange for their services on the court during his Kansas tenure from 1898 to 1907.

Naismith invented the sport of basketball in 1891 in Springfield, Massachusetts, though it appears he will be stripped of that title following an FBI investigation into his program’s transgressions that helped the dude who created the entire sport go only 55-60 for his career.

“After the conclusions drawn from the FBI investigations, we are left with no other choice but to remove James Naismith as the inventor of basketball and ban Missouri men’s basketball from the postseason,” the NCAA announced in a statement.

The bombshell decision to remove James Naismith as the inventor of basketball brings into question who will assume the title. The NCAA said it will open up an application and nomination process to determine who deserves the esteemed distinction.

“We are calling on all basketball people to send us their applicants and nominations for who should be considered the new inventor of basketball,” the statement from the NCAA continued. “For the integrity of the game, we will NOT pay the winner, so don’t even ask, commie.”

Kansas held a press conference in response to the penalties against Naismith, with head coach and generous spender Bill Self accepting the results of the investigation.

“Naismith is dead, so I don’t really give a shit about him,” Self said. “And Missouri deserved it. So, we’re good.”

Missouri head coach Couzno Martin was beside himself when he spoke with media following the NCAA’s ruling.

“Damn it, and we’re actually good for once! This is an injustice the levels of which have never-” he exclaimed in exasperation right before reporters got bored and moved on.

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