Eastern Washington Blindsides San Diego State in 15-2 Upset

The whole international pandemic thing that’s going down forced the 2020 March Madness to be cancelled. Or so you thought.

The NCAA is skipping this year’s tournament at all levels, but /r/CollegeBasketball has sponsored its own alternative Men’s Division I tournament: Reddit March Madness. Streamed exclusively on YouTube and executed with a college basketball video game from almost 15 years ago, this year’s March Madness is sure to be unpredictable and full of really dumb turnovers.

Nothing But Nylon is providing the exclusive* coverage of the event from the bedroom of our headquarters. Don’t miss any of the real* quotes and bone-breaking analysis that you’ll only find here because of how exclusive* this content is.

* = this means you can’t sue me

Reddit March Madness First Round – 15 Eastern Washington 78, 2 San Diego State 68

With under four minutes to play, Eastern Washington guard Ellis Magnuson pushed the ball in transition with a three-point lead. He noticed a streaking Mason Peatling, and tossed a lob from 30 feet toward the rim. Like the world class athlete Peatling is, he virtually leap out of the gym, snagging the ball with one paw and slamming it through the iron.

There was nothing Nathan Mensah could do but foul and welcome the poster.

The play helped extend the EWU’s lead to six, and the team didn’t look back from there, conquering San Diego State, 78-68, in the first round of the 2020 Reddit March Madness. It was the first 15 over 2 upset since Middle Tennessee knocked off Michigan State in 2016.

“We just made history,” Magnuson said. “Suck it, Montana.”

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Montana sucks. GIF courtesy of /u/typicalbaseballfan.

For Eastern Washington head coach and definite pirate Shantay Legans, the win means everything.

“Fuck your brackets,” Legans said. “EWU, bitch.”

It’s a tough way to close the 2020 campaign for San Diego State, which spent much of the year undefeated and enter the postseason with only two losses. As it closes the book on the 2019-20 season with a 30-3 record, it enters the offseason disappointed.

Head coach Brian Dutcher was rendered speechless after the game.

“I wore the same gray suit that brought us good fortune whenever I wore it in the regular season,” said Dutcher, who often matches his suits with his hair. “I was told I would like the way I look. I was lied to.”

It’s a difficult way for Malachi Flynn to end his breakout season. He had 19 points and eight assists of his own, but it wasn’t enough to get the Aztecs over the hump. The issue wasn’t offensively, Dutcher said, as much as it was defensive. The team gave up 49 points in the final 20 minutes.

“Make like the Earth and rotate, motherfuckers,” Dutcher said he instructed his team during multiple timeouts. “The Earth ain’t flat, and neither should your feet.”

This is only the ninth-ever time a No. 15 seed has advanced out of the first round. Eastern Washington will try to be the second No. 15 seed to make it to the Sweet 16, following in the footsteps of 2013 Florida Gulf Coast, which defeated San Diego State in the second round that year to punch its ticket to the second weekend.

Eastern Washington will play the winner of No. 7 seed Arizona and No. 10 seed Marquette (Friday at 3:30 p.m. EST). Be sure to follow along with Nothing But Nylon’s comprehensively exclusive* coverage of the 2020 Reddit March Madness.

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