The whole international pandemic thing that’s going down forced the 2020 March Madness to be cancelled. Or so you thought.
The NCAA is skipping this year’s tournament at all levels, but /r/CollegeBasketball has sponsored its own alternative Men’s Division I tournament: Reddit March Madness. Streamed exclusively on YouTube and executed with a college basketball video game from almost 15 years ago, this year’s March Madness is sure to be unpredictable and full of really dumb turnovers.
Nothing But Nylon is providing the exclusive* coverage of the event from the bedroom of our headquarters. Don’t miss any of the real* quotes and bone-breaking analysis that you’ll only find here because of how exclusive* this content is.
* = this means you can’t sue me
Reddit March Madness First Round – 2 Creighton 91, 15 UC Irvine 78
UC Irvine led 71-67 with a little more than eight minutes to play in the second half. Spirits were high, and a possible repeat of the double No. 15 victories from 2012 – the only time it has ever happened – looking possible.
Creighton head coach Greg McDermott, who also co-starred as The Thing/Ben Grimm in Fantastic Four (2005), was seen visibly shaking midway through the second half while his team trailed.
“Oh lord, no. No, no, not again, no. Please, God, no, not like this,” McDermott said he pleaded to God on the sideline in the second half. “Just one Sweet 16, please, even if it’s in a video game.”
Then, Creighton went on a 14-0 run and ruined all the fun.
The Anteaters didn’t score again until the 3:21 mark and only mustered another seven points after a great first 32 minutes. UC Irvine head coach Russell Turner was agast.
“They got their red meter up really high, and then all those threes were falling,” Turner said. “It felt like 40 years of flooding rained upon us with the vengeance of the Almighty himself. Not even an arc could have saved us.”
The Bluejays finished the game in comfort, securing a 91-78 triumph to move on to the second round. Omaha rejoiced as the rest of the nation mourned the incredible memes that would have come from two No. 2 seeds losing in back-to-back games on the first night of the Reddit March Madness Round of 64.
“Damn refs,” tweeted @SomeAdultsActuallyBehaveLikeThisForReal1983. “Those theives stole a all time up set. should be ashaMed of them selves!!”
Creighton’s Denzel Mahoney put on a show, posting 33 points on 11-of-16 shooting from the field, plus seven boards to go along. Most remarkably, though, the sharpshooter sank 8 of his 10 attempts from deep, accounting for more than half of Creighton’s outside onslaught of 14 triples.
“Ty and Marcus get better their acts together,” Mahoney said. “I ain’t shooting like that again.”
On the other side, UC Irvine senior guard Evan Leonard was even more dominant, scoring an absurd 41 points on 14-of-24 shooting, with a 10-of-16 clip from beyond the arc. If not for his efforts, the Anteaters would have been ant-eaten much sooner.
“My back hurts,” Leonard complained after the game. “I’m seeking retribution.”
Creighton is set to match up with the winner of No. 7 seed Illinois and No. 10 seed Utah State (Friday at 3 p.m. EST). Be sure to follow along with Nothing But Nylon’s comprehensively exclusive* coverage of the 2020 Reddit March Madness.
Part of the proceeds from the sale of each #RedditMarchMadness t-shirt will go toward helping those in the basketball community affected by COVID-19. We will be partnering with non-profits like the Give and Go Foundation on the effort. If you know of a worthy group that could use some extra funds, please reach out.
