The whole international pandemic thing that’s going down forced the 2020 March Madness to be cancelled. Or so you thought.
The NCAA is skipping this year’s tournament at all levels, but /r/CollegeBasketball has sponsored its own alternative Men’s Division I tournament: Reddit March Madness. Streamed exclusively on YouTube and executed with a college basketball video game from almost 15 years ago, this year’s March Madness is sure to be unpredictable and full of really dumb turnovers.
Nothing But Nylon is providing the exclusive* coverage of the event from the bedroom of our headquarters. Don’t miss any of the real* quotes and bone-breaking analysis that you’ll only find here because of how exclusive* this content is.
* = this means you can’t sue me
West Virginia’s Chase Harler Came Clean about His Extensive Stamp Collection
Chase Harler is a stamp collector.
One day before West Virginia is set to take on BYU in the Final Four of Reddit March Madness, Mountaineers guard Chase Harler has come clean about his massive stamp collection.
In one of the most embarrassing moments in West Virginia basketball history, Harler outlined the severity of his accumulation.
“I have thousands upon thousands of stamps,” he said as a special press conference, hanging his head in shame. “They’re all around my apartment by campus and my room back home in Moundsville, but I keep them hidden so people don’t find out.”
This stunning revelation came when his head coach, Bob Huggins, noticed an extraordinary amount of stamps in Harler’s bag, which he had accidentally left open enough on the team bus coming back from their visit with Atlanta schoolchildren, unearthing his decades-long secret.
“I’ve been living a lie for most of my life,” Harler said, “pretending to be a regular guy, well adjusted into society, when all along I’ve been hoarding stamps.”
He admitted that this problem started very early on in his life. His parents knew about it when he began, but as time wore on, he hid his growing obsession from them. By the time he reached middle school, they thought it was all in the past, when really his collection was only beginning to take shape.
“I’ve been collecting since I was a little boy, maybe 3 or 4 years old,” Harler said, beginning to choke up. “My cousin showed stamps to me, told me they were a nice hobby. I didn’t think anything much of it then, just thought they were interesting. I had no idea what it would turn in to. I didn’t know it would be like this.”
Huggins confronted his player after he saw the stamps, and he said Harler broke down right then and there. It was one of the most difficult things Huggins has ever had to deal with, he said.
“He began to sob and apologize, and I just hugged him and told him I loved him no matter what,” Huggins said. “He’s a good kid, he really is. He means well, and we’re gonna support him through whatever we have to.”
Harler’s mother, or at least the woman who angrily answered the door at his family’s Moundsville, West Virginia, home whom I assumed to be his mother, provided a short comment before shutting her door in my face, like I deserved.
“We had no idea our Chase was still wrapped up in stamps,” she said, hysterical. “Now, go away. Don’t you think this family is suffering enough?”
It’s an incredible time for this news to break, with West Virginia set to play in the Final Four for the first time in 10 years tomorrow at 5:45 p.m. EST. The team isn’t letting this get in the way of its focus and preparation, though.
“We love Chase,” said guard Jordan McCabe. “We want whatever it best for him. That probably isn’t collecting stamps. He’s going to have a long road to recovery, but we will be there, as his brothers, to help him every step of the way.”
There were initially questions if Harler would suit up for the Final Four, but he put an end to those rumors, plus promised to be different.
“I will play tomorrow,” he confirmed to the media, defiantly. “And I’m done with stamp. No more collecting. No more hoarding. No more hiding. I’m done with it all.
“From this day forward, Chase Harler will no longer collect stamps!”
Be sure to follow along with Nothing But Nylon’s comprehensively exclusive* coverage of the 2020 Reddit March Madness.
Part of the proceeds from the sale of each #RedditMarchMadness t-shirt will go toward helping those in the basketball community affected by COVID-19. We will be partnering with non-profits like the Give and Go Foundation on the effort. If you know of a worthy group that could use some extra funds, please reach out.
