The whole international pandemic thing that’s going down forced the 2020 March Madness to be cancelled. Or so you thought.
The NCAA is skipping this year’s tournament at all levels, but /r/CollegeBasketball has sponsored its own alternative Men’s Division I tournament: Reddit March Madness. Streamed exclusively on YouTube and executed with a college basketball video game from almost 15 years ago, this year’s March Madness is sure to be unpredictable and full of really dumb turnovers.
Nothing But Nylon is providing the exclusive* coverage of the event from the bedroom of our headquarters. Don’t miss any of the real* quotes and bone-breaking analysis that you’ll only find here because of how exclusive* this content is.
* = this means you can’t sue me
Reddit March Madness First Round – 5 BYU 78, 12 Stephen F. Austin 75
With a six point lead and 14 seconds left in the game, all BYU needed to do was stop Stephen F. Austin from converting two threes in quick succession without scoring a single point itself before the end of regulation.
It almost did that.
First, SFA drilled a triple with 13.9 ticks to go. BYU simply needed to inbound the ball, get fouled and make a free throw to push the game back to two possessions. Instead, the Jake Toolson threw the rock away with a lazy pass near mid-court.
“That was a fuck up for sure,” he said.
Stephen F. Austin worked quick to take a contested mid-range two-point jumper, an unconventional plan of attack considering the game situation.
“That was a fuck up for sure,” said Kevon Harris, who took the terrible shot.
But the Lumberjacks had hope, snatching the rebound and wisely getting the ball beyond the three-point line. Cameron Johnson had a look at the top of the key as time expired, aiming to send the game to overtime, but it wasn’t to be. The ball met iron, and BYU comfortably controlled the rebound as the horn sounded, ending SFA’s upset bid.
“We beat Duke. At Duke. On a buzzer beater,” said Stephen F. Austin head coach and noted Chris Beard impersonator Kyle Keller. “I’m fine.”
The back-and-forth contest had BYU head coach Tom Riddle nervous, he said, but ultimately the Dark Lord placed confidence in his seniors to get the job done.
“I was telling them the same things I’ve been telling them all season during the huddles,” Riddle explained. “Just keep calm, trust the process, and death to all Muggles.”
BYU will play the winner of No. 4 seed Louisville and No. 13 seed Vermont (Thursday at 5 p.m. EST). Be sure to follow along with Nothing But Nylon’s comprehensively exclusive* coverage of the 2020 Reddit March Madness.