The whole international pandemic thing that’s going down forced the 2020 March Madness to be cancelled. Or so you thought.
The NCAA is skipping this year’s tournament at all levels, but /r/CollegeBasketball has sponsored its own alternative Men’s Division I tournament: Reddit March Madness. Streamed exclusively on YouTube and executed with a college basketball video game from almost 15 years ago, this year’s March Madness is sure to be unpredictable and full of really dumb turnovers.
Nothing But Nylon is providing the exclusive* coverage of the event from the bedroom of our headquarters. Don’t miss any of the real* quotes and bone-breaking analysis that you’ll only find here because of how exclusive* this content is.
* = this means you can’t sue me
Reddit March Madness First Round – 1 Kansas 72, 16 NC Central 62
Kansas almost became the second No. 1 seed to ever lose in the first round, but it narrowly held off NC Central, 72-62.
Unfortunately, the close call was too much for Bill Self to bear.
The next step in the evolutionary chart after Illinois head coach Bunderwood, Self was rushed to the hospital moments after the game’s conclusion for cardiac arrest. Medics stormed the court, much to his chagrin.
“I wasn’t nervous for me,” Bill Self said, according to the Kansas City Star. “There were several (medics) that hit our players. I’m not saying like with a fist, but when you storm the court, you run in, you bump everybody, stuff like that. This has got to stop.”
Ochai Agbaji earned Player of the Game honors with his 22 points on 8-of-24 shooting, plus four steals. He took no responsibility for his coach’s health.
“Sure, I took a lot of shots, and sure, I missed a lot of them,” Agbaji said. “But I also scored 22 points and was locking it down on defense. I did my job. His blood is on my teammates’ hands.”
NC Central head coach and man of great soul LeVelle Moton was happy with the way his team played against the No. 1 overall seed, even in defeat.
“Our guys fought until the end, and that’s something they can keep with them for the rest of the time the owner of his game keeps these rosters,” Moton said. “Besides, Kansas probably cheated, anyway.”
Kansas will face No. 8 seed Saint Mary’s in the second round of Reddit’s NCAA Tournament.
“I’m not religious,” Bill Self said when asked about the matchup. “And I don’t trust Australians.”
Be sure to follow along with Nothing But Nylon’s comprehensively exclusive* coverage of the 2020 Reddit March Madness.
