Conference Realignment Returns the Joy to College Sports
Conference realignment, hooray! It’s when all of your favorite aspects of college sports come to the forefront to…
August 5, 2021
Jim Boeheim Takes to Doomsday Bunker to Escape Hippies
Syracuse men’s basketball head coach Jim Boeheim has been hiding out in his doomsday bunker ever since the…
June 14, 2021
Court Rules Joel Embiid, Russell Westbrook To Lose Custody of Steven Adams
A Philadelphia court ruled for Joel Embiid and Russell Westbrook to have no custody of Steven Adams after…
May 21, 2021
Utah Jazz Change Name to Utah Classic County
The Utah Jazz will change their name to the Utah Classic Country effectively immediately, the team announced. The…
May 7, 2021
NBA Owners Form 29-Team Super League
A group of NBA owners announced the launch of a 29-team super league on Thursday, prompting strong backlash…
May 6, 2021
Raymond Tortuga’s Men’s College Basketball Awards 2020-21
Since the tournament ended with Baylor’s demolition of Gonzaga, the world has been waiting on bated breath for…
April 13, 2021
Overweight Man Explains Why Women’s Basketball Players Don’t Need Big Lifty Things
John Smith, a bland replica of the same American over and over, was disgusted when he saw the…
March 19, 2021
Full-Grown Adult Man Who Is Paid to Talk about Unpaid Work Complains about Unpaid Workers’ Unhappiness
As hundreds of unpaid workers are traveling to Indiana in the middle of a pandemic to do work…
March 18, 2021
New York Liberty Named Most Adorable WNBA Franchise
The New York Liberty finally won something! This week, the WNBA announced one of its oldest franchises as…
Tim Miles Glasses Amputated After Freak Fall
Basketball analyst Tim Miles had his glasses amputated from his face Wednesday following a freak fall that broke…
February 11, 2021